Today in My Shoes . . .The New Dose
Today in my shoes I had to deal with my adjusted dose of medication. The good news is that I was able to get my dose lowered! The bad news, I still have to deal with the effects of the change. The thing about Anti Epileptic Drugs, or AEDs as the cool kids call them, is that by design they fuck with, excuse me, “regulate” brain chemistry.
Sounds like a pretty far out sciencey kind of thing right? Wrong. Plain and simple it sucks. The new dose started 2 days ago. I felt pretty good. Yesterday, another pretty good day although I could feel my body was aware that something had changed, it just wasn’t quite sure exactly what.
Today, I felt the edges coming on. You know, sometimes you have a drink or smoke a doobie to “take the edge off?” Well, this has the opposite effect. The edge comes on, big time. I was more aware of it this time around. I had to deal with this every 2 weeks for nearly 2 months when I was getting onto the meds. So this time, I am more aware.
Aware of what? The edge. Not like “oh no I’m going over the edge” sort of thing. It’s certainly not that dramatic. By edge, I mean my tolerance level. These meds can make me a real asshole. My fuse get short, really short. The worst part about it is that I can watch myself reacting in an unpleasant way before I can really do anything. It’s like a reflex. And unfortunately, its a side effect of these drugs.
That’s what I, and the people around me, have been walking with today.
The good news is that I know my system will balance out. I am more aware this time around and I am already noticing my ability to consciously counteract the “imbalanced” reactions that want to arise. More aware. Not totally.
Like Master Yoda says, “Hard to see, the Dark Side is.” Well Dark Side I got news for you. I see you. Master Yoda and I are coming to pay you a visit.
Now let me just go find my Jedi shoes . . .
About the Author
Adam is an author, transformational speaker, and stress management coach. His powerful yet approachable and easy-to-understand wisdom have the potential to make a powerful shift in your life. Combining ancient wisdom and modern science, he helps his clients achieve their personal and professional goals, free from stress and worry. My journey has taught me some powerful, profound, and incredible things. Walk with me, and I'll teach them to you too.